*Results may vary. Significantly.
PacketLossMail is the email service that's refreshingly honest about its limitations. We'll do our best to get your mail where it needs to go. Our best varies.
*"Need" is a strong word. Everything you might tolerate.
Your emails are protected by encryption so advanced, even we can't read them. We also sometimes can't deliver them, but that's unrelated.
*We're not sure which military.
Our state-of-the-art infrastructure ensures your emails arrive in record time. The record in question is held by a carrier pigeon from 1907, but still.
Average delivery time: 2 to 7 business days.
We're committed to reliability. Our uptime speaks for itself, assuming you measure it during the right windows.
**Measured during our best week. In 2019. On a Tuesday.
Never worry about running out of space. Store every email you've ever received, assuming you don't receive very many emails.
β Up to 50MB.
Our proprietary algorithm identifies and filters spam with remarkable enthusiasm. It also filters some regular emails. It's hard to tell the difference sometimes.
False positive rate: "character building."
Our dedicated support team is available around the clock. We have a contact form on our website and we check it regularly.
"Regularly" means when we remember.
It's almost too simple. That should concern you.
Create your PacketLossMail account in seconds. We ask for very little information, mostly because we'd just lose it anyway.
Pick your perfect @packetlossmail.com address. First impressions matter, and nothing says "professional" quite like this domain.
Use your new email like any other. Messages go in, messages come out. Well, messages go in. The rest is more of a probability exercise.
Did that email arrive? Was it important? You'll never know for sure, and honestly, isn't that kind of freeing?
Unlike our delivery rates.
Honestly, this is all you need.
The same features, but you pay for them. For connoisseurs of unnecessary spending.
Why? Seriously, why? Just use the free tier. We're begging you.
Real-time monitoring that we check occasionally.
*Uptime refers to the status page being up, not the mail service.
We asked for testimonials. Some of these might even be real.
"I sent an important email through PacketLossMail and... well, I sent it. That's the part I can confirm."
"PacketLossMail has completely transformed how I think about email. I now think about it constantly. Did it arrive? Is it lost? The uncertainty keeps me sharp."
"10/10, would not recommend for anything mission-critical. 10/10 for literally everything else. My junk mail has never been more organized, or more absent."
"I've been using PacketLossMail for 6 months now and I have received at least 3 emails. That's a rate, and I respect that."
"I switched to PacketLossMail from a major provider and I've never been happier. Or more uncertain. But mostly happier. The uncertainty is just a bonus."
"My company's procurement team asked me to evaluate enterprise email solutions. I submitted PacketLossMail. I no longer work there, but I stand by my recommendation."
Questions we've been asked, and some we just made up.
Technically, yes. It receives email. Whether it constitutes a "service" in any meaningful sense is a philosophical question we're not prepared to answer.
Many of them! Probably most of them. We're not going to put a number on it because our lawyers said we shouldn't, and also because we don't actually know.
You can, in the same way you can use a hammock as a primary bed. We would not recommend it. Please do not do this. We are asking nicely.
Your data exists on our servers in a state best described as "present but not accounted for." We don't sell it, mostly because nobody has asked. If you're worried about privacy, rest assured that even we have trouble finding your emails.
We have several! They're all aspirational. Think of them less as "Service Level Agreements" and more as "Service Level Ambitions." Or "Service Level Approximations."
We tried setting it to "Operational" once and it felt dishonest. "Degraded" more accurately reflects our permanent emotional state and server health.
A refund on what? It's free. If you somehow paid us, we'd like to know how, because we haven't set up payment processing.
Email us at support@packetlossmail.com and we'll get right on that. By "right on that" we mean we'll add it to a list that we look at sometimes. Your data will eventually be deleted, either intentionally or through the natural entropy of our systems.
The most honest legal document you'll ever read.
Best Effort: We will try our best. Our best varies. On a good day, we're excellent. On a bad day, we're a cautionary tale. Most days fall somewhere in between.
Your Data: Your data is yours. If we can find it. We make no guarantees about data retention, data retrieval, or data existing in any particular state at any particular time.
Packet Loss: We reserve the right to lose any packet at any time for any reason. This is not a bug. It is our entire brand identity.
Uptime: Uptime guarantees are more of a suggestion. A vibe, if you will. We aspire to be up. Sometimes we succeed. When we don't, please enjoy the rest of the internet.
Liability: Our total liability is limited to a sincere apology and, if we're feeling generous, a GIF of a cat looking sorry. This is legally binding and also adorable.
Modifications: We may modify these terms at any time. We probably won't, because writing legal documents is exhausting and we'd rather be losing packets.
Acceptance: By using PacketLossMail, you accept these terms. By reading this far, you have too much free time. Same, honestly.
Join thousands* of users who have chosen PacketLossMail for their email needs.
*Unverified. Could be dozens. Could be just Steve.
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